Building Resilient Families: Self Care

This article is the second in our series "Building Resilient Families" by our guest blogger, Roxie Lebsanft of Bare Hands.  Roxie is co-founder of Bare Hands, a Mother, G.Dip.Counselling & Psychotherapy, B.HSc (Complementary Medicine) and in this blog she shares her tips for ‘Self-Care…

Model Self Care for you kids sake…

 Would you like to have resilient children who are confident, assertive and behave morally from deeply ingrained values?

 As mothers, we can do this by showing our children how to value themselves equally to others, which teaches self-care, assertiveness and fairness. Great concept, but how can you do it simply?

 Model self care confidently…

Chances are you’ve seen a child who’s really tired and irrational. As a mum, you probably know that the best thing for them to do at that point is to slow down, have a nap and they’ll wake refreshed and in a better mood.

But what are we showing children when we work until we’re exhausted? Or when we say “Yes”, without first considering the effect on ourselves and what we really value? If you feel guilty when you take 15 minutes out from other responsibilities to sit and read a book (just for pleasure) then consider, your children are learning self-management and self-care from watching you! If they see that adults don’t have fun and it’s all work and no play, they may not want to grow up at all. A child scared of growing up will be less likely to properly care for themselves or to consider others.

“Taking care of yourself is the most powerful way to begin to take care of others.” (Bryant McGill)

 If you want your children to be fair and equitable, it starts with you.

Your needs are equally as important as the needs of your children, important other, family, work associates or anyone else. If you’re feeling tired, out of sorts or overwhelmed, then it’s time to schedule ‘me time’ and show your children how to do self care. They’ll thank you for it as adults. Ignore the pleas for attention and protect your special time. They’ll adapt quickly if you set boundaries.

When I was young, my nanna would take half an hour every afternoon for a ‘nanna nap’. I quickly learnt not to disturb her and play quietly for awhile. Sometimes she napped and sometimes she read, but I learnt that she was always happier and more energetic after her quiet time, more fun for both of us! So what will you do this week, guilt free that recharges your batteries? Model equity for your children by caring for yourself as much as you care for others to set them up for life.

 Helpful tips

1. They will copy what you do, not what you say.
2. Modelling equity teaches assertiveness, resilience and self-care.
3. Show your children how to recharge and re-energise.

 About the author:

Helping women develop and enjoy wonderfully dynamic family relationships is Laurie and Roxie's special focus. As co-founders of Bare Hands they understand many of the challenges of modern day families.

Bare Hands is run by allied health professionals committed to helping women embrace positive change by providing access to practical education. To find out more visit www.barehands.com.au